The most enjoyable reading that I have been doing as of late has been written by Zach Bowman, an (former?) associate editor for Road & Track and contributor to The Drive who sold everything he owned, and has hitched a camper to his high-mileage (nearly 300,000) 2003 Dodge Ram and has taken his wife, Beth, and their infant daughter on the road. They’re touring America, working and discovering, and sending periodic updater to The Drive.
I have been thinking that I should share this with my friends for a while now but his latest piece: "Running Toward the Fears of Fatherhood" the nineteenth installment, really struck a chord with me. Maybe it's because of the parallels we share; he is a new father (his daughter is 13 months old) and he has left everything behind, taking his family into the unknown. More than that though it is his writing style he was able to put into words feelings that I thought could not be expressed:
"And she’s ours. I lack the language to describe what that means beyond the truth that, for the first time in 31 years, I know the full meaning and dark depth of the word, “precious.” How it cannot be said or conveyed, only felt raggedly in the chest like a gasp, a stutter of the heart. How the vastness of my desires is reduced to this: keep her happy, safe, healthy. And how I’ve gambled that by casting us to the road.
No one’s kind enough to tell you that parenthood is another word for worry. That the first nine months in the womb are a preamble, the gamut of tests and screens for possible complications just a preface. The odds seem so impossible that she could come out perfect that when she does, you don’t quite believe it. I didn’t. I waited and I watched and I knew. Knew. Something would be wrong.
And when it wasn’t? It felt like a gift I didn’t deserve. A thing to say thanks for; it’s as close as I’ve come to understanding prayer."
There are ghosts of my own personal sentiments and feelings littered throughout his writing and If you have a moment and the interest take some time to read through Zach's adventure thus far and maybe follow along. You won't be sorry.