Current Events: Apples Selling $1 Long Island Ice Teas

You can now get fucked up at Applebee's for $3

"Today Applebee’s announced $1 Long Island Iced Teas throughout the month of December, and the deal is blissfully free of fine print. (Except for the obligatory “Drink Responsibly” tagline in its ad, seen below.) The cocktails are available at all nationwide locations all day everyday through the month. Breakfast Long Islands ahoy.

The high-octane concoction is a mix of vodka, rum, gin, tequila, triple sec, sweet and sour mix, and cola, and is served in a tall mug. Naturally, our first thought is: “This means we can get really drunk for $3 in a strip mall.”"

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed a urgent news story, and I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!"

~Ron Burgundy

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